There are so many things in store for us.

So go run while you can still get away
Take a breath while it’s still yours to take
You’re a mess but yes you’re beautiful.

Sleeping under the stars with a warm breeze and a best friend. Talking about life. Realizing the infinite beauty of the sky and not quite comprehending the vastness of the universe.

I'm happier than I've been by far.

“Look at you. You’re young. And you’re scared. Why are you so scared? Stop being paralyzed. Stop swallowing your words. Stop caring what other people think. Wear what you want. Say what you want. Listen to the music you want to listen to. Play it loud and dance to it. Go out for a drive at midnight and forget that you have school the next day. Stop waiting for Friday. Live now. Do it now. Take risks. Tell secrets. This life is yours. When are you going to realize that you can do whatever you want?”

This is genius.

I need a friend with one of these.

You know you're from Colorado when:

You have absolutely no recognizable accent.

If the humidity gets above 25%, you consider it "muggy".

You are the third car to run a red light after it has changed.

You say things like "I don't care how big Golden is, it's still a one-horse town".

You think only stupid people get lost in your town.

When giving directions, you never say "Turn left, turn right", it's always go West, then South.

During a thunderstorm you wonder "which I-25 underpass is flooding".

If it rains more than 2 days straight you compare the weather to being in Seattle.

You voted for higher taxes to fund Coors field, but voted down taxes for public transportation.

You have a broken windshield.

You carry your $3,000 mountain bike on top of your $500 car.

You think "South Park" is a place to stop for gas on your way to Buena Vista.

You have a business degree and are frying burgers at a McDonald's in Vail.

You have a flat tire in your refrigerator and your garage.

You own a big dog named Aspen, Buck, Cheyenne or Dakota that wears a bandanna.

You cast out your fishing line while white-water rafting.

You've never seen the tourist attractions in your own city.

You are 82 years old and take up snowboarding.

The entire top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You think that formal wear is ironed denim.

You go anywhere else on the planet and the air feels "sticky" and you notice the sky is no longer blue.

You consider a three-piece suit to be a pair of shorts, a sweatshirt and Birkenstocks.

You can run up 10 flights of stairs without huffing and puffing.

You've stood on solid ground and looked down on an airplane in flight.

You can drive over a 12,000 foot pass in 4 feet of snow

You know the correct pronunciation of Buena Vista.

Your car insurance costs more than your car.

You have surge protectors on every outlet.

April showers bring May blizzards.

You see someone riding a Harley in a snowstorm, and you look closer to see if it's anyone you know.

A bear on your front porch doesn't bother you.

People from other states breathe 5 times as often as you do.

Thunder has set off your car alarm.

"Where we're going, we don't need roads!"

You get a certain feeling of satisfaction from knowing that California and Texas are both downstream

You know the elevation of a town, but not its population.

You never pack away your coat and sweaters.

If it snows in the morning you expect it to be gone by lunchtime.

You can name the states that make up the Four Corners.

You know what and where the Continental Divide is.

When you aren't in Colorado, you no longer know which direction is which, because you can't see the mountains.

You know what a "trust fund hippie" is, and you know its natural habitat is Boulder.

You still call it "Elitches".

You scoff at the "five-day forecast".

You think that sexy lingerie is wool socks and flannel PJs.

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over their snowsuit.

You've grown up with the most beautiful sunsets in the world, and didn't miss them until you left.

Day Seven

I wouldn't have expected myself to enjoy theater as much as I do. It's definitely not what I'm used to and it's definitely not something I'm particularly good at. But it's fun and it's something new. Many thanks to the beautiful Miss Kaylie O'donnal for exposing me to the world of drama. Without her, I would never have become a prostitute. :)

Day Three

It's silly how much one nice little comment can do.

I was sitting in play practice today when a girl came up to me and asked why I look so glum. When I told her I was super tired from the mono, she told me I still look gorgeous even when I'm tired.

It was just a small compliment, but it made me realize how much those mean. So today's post is dedicated to her. Thank you for your words of kindness and for helping me to realize exactly how influential small acts of kindness can be.

Day Two

Four things I often forget to be thankful for:

1. My body. I have this really neat body. And although I get self-conscious, I am really lucky to have this body that can run, dance, feel, get hurt, and then heal.
   
2. Hard times. I love those moments when you realize how much better you are because of something you had to go through, and learn from.
3. Driving alone. I think everyone needs some alone time in his/her day.
4. School. It's frustrating at times, but I really enjoy school. I love to learn.

Mono.

I don't know how many days I've been wearing these clothes.
I don't know how long it's been since I took a shower.
And I don't remember the last time I went outside.

I have mono.
And my swollen tonsils have left about a millimeter of
space in my throat.
Which makes it hard to swallow food
and saliva.

But I'm living.
Being sick is kinda cool.
I have a nice little home carved into the couch.
No one ever wants to sit by me.

When my doctor told me she was going to put me on steroids, I was scared I was going to grow a beard or something, but then I remembered how I've been wishing I could grow mutton chops for a long time. The steroids don't cause facial hair bt dubs.

I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.

I might have gotten feather hair extensions.

Miles to go before I sleep.

Henna.

Fight fires in your best clothes.

Touch skin with your eyes closed.

Chase thunder with the volume down.

Pack a suitcase.

Wander to the next town.

Apply all your efforts to become the highest mountain of all and strain your potential until it cries for mercy.

There is absolutely nothing I enjoy more than discussing politics with my dad. I think I've been craving intellectual conversations. I don't remember the last time anything gave me this sense of satisfaction with life. I've been so bored with conversations with my peers, and to be able to talk to someone with perspective is rejuvenating.

If I don't elope

"I got accepted to BYU."
"Yeah you're gonna get married next year."

I figure I might as well start planning my wedding. Just kidding. But seriously, I'm so doing this at my wedding.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7TrU4_-JTY

The second half of this song completely destroys me.

I'm going to purge my life. I need to live simpler. I think I would be a lot happier without all these things. Everything is a burden and I don't like being tied down. I don't want anything. I don't want any of it.

On being young

Sometimes I think I'm out of control. I wish I knew how to organize my thoughts and feelings. But instead they just whirl around my brain. And it's nearly impossible to keep track of my emotions. I'll love something one day and then hate it the next. If I could show you what the inside of my head looks like it would probably resemble the Chicago underground transit.

Everything in my life is so ambivalent. I hate the things I love. I can't get enough of the things I can't stand. And sometimes things are so ugly that it is beautiful. I'll do things that I hate, just because I love to. I'm passive but I pick fights. I say things I don't mean, And I never say the things I mean. I care too much and then not at all. I cry because I'm happy and cry because I'm sad. I would like a relationship but that is the last thing I want. I do things because they hurt. I want to help you, but I'll probably end up just pushing you over. I trust you, but might never tell you anything. I want to run, but I'd like to stay. I care about what you think, but I don't. Nothing is static.

I wish I knew how I felt about things. I wish I knew how to be consistent in my thoughts and feelings. Someday I'll know just how I feel. I'll grow up someday.

I'm so mellow today. It's nice. That is all.

Reasons I'm not doing math homework

1. I don't want to.

Blahh. More than you wanted to know about how I'm feeling

Would it be bad if I just threw up all over you? I'm sick today and anyone who is in close proximity is at risk of being puked on. It's really not a bid deal if you're into that kinda thing. Some people are. Dogs maybe. Moral of the story: Don't come close unless you like shirts made of vomit.

Imaginary jobs I would be good at

1. Ellen Degeneres stunt double: My tall lanky frame combined with the fact that Ellen has very few dangerous action scenes make me an ideal candidate for this position.

2. Impersonal Shopper: I don’t know if I’d be cut out to buy things on behalf of a particular person but I could certainly go around buying stuff that someone is bound to like. I would buy it and then people could just come through and route around in my pile of stuff. If they find something they like they take it and give me money.

3. Pool Tester: Here would be a typical exchange in my role as a swimming pool tester, “Brr. Too cold. You’re going to have to buy a different pool.”

4. Fish: Doesn’t seem too hard to me.

5. Hoarse Whisperer: I could be someone with a scratchy voice that speaks quietly into your ear.

6. Music Reviewer Critic: I may not have the necessary knowledge of music in order to be a reviewer myself but my knowledge of snide, detached wannabes is unparalleled. As a music reviewer critic I would dissect and analyze the class of human beings that describe other people’s artistic labors with phrases such as, “3 and a half stars.”

7. Computer System Analyst: "Good system" "Bad system"

8. Lifeguard at the baby pool: If anyone needs an explanation for this one, go ahead and do us all a favor and step in front of a bus.

9. Bingo Announcer: “B5!” “E8!” “Someone help Mr. Womack back to his room. He’s passed out on his bingo board again.”

10. Vanna White’s job, or more correctly stated, Toucher of Lighted Rectangles: No commentary needed.

11. Drummer in a country band: It’s hard to put sounds into words, but listen to any country song; I don’t care if it’s a ballad or that new stuff they call country, the drummer has the same beat, “Bomp. Shish. Bomp. Shish.” It’s basically bass drum, cymbal, bass drum, cymbal.

12. Hairstylist for Justin Bieber: Seriously. How hard could this be. The kid always has the same hairstyle.

13. One of the Briefcase girls from Dear or No Deal: Stand there and look pretty.

14. Professional Air Guitar Player: Perks: Awesome Tiger Sweaters; groupies; international fame. Most difficult part of job: Hitting the F Major chord in Stairway to Heaven.

:)

I got accepted to BYU. I'm super excited because this means I will never ever have to go back to high school after this year. I'm so glad I have the opportunity to graduate a year early. I might go crazy if I had to deal with high school for another year. I'm so ready to move on and do something new. It's time.

Sometimes things are just too good.

Tonight was too amazing. I don't think I've screamed, laughed, or smiled this much in a long time.

1. Our boys won the state basketball championship. That game was too fun. I'm sad that I cheered at my last game. But what a great way to end my cheerleading career. Ah:)

2. My friends are so great. They took me to get smiley pancakes at Ihop
I got the cute waiter's number. "Wait hang on, let me get my crayon." We don't know his name, so Kaylee named him Tony's Best Friend. She's too cute.

3. Thank you Kaylee for the delicious chocolate cake baby in my tummy.

4. Thank you Kaylie, Kota, and Josie for the birthday serenade right at midnight.

5. I love driving and blasting songs with my girls.

6. Remember this time last year?

7. Being attacked by silly string, over the hill necklace, flowers, inside jokes, cheerleader outings, turning seventeen. Tonight was was too great. Thank you everyone.

NPR makes everything better.

1. Can I just say, I love being cheer captain. There are so many privileges concerned with this position. I was excused from most my classes so Camile and I could film a video for this week's pep rally. It's going to be rockin.

2. My phone made its last call today. So I'm phoneless until I get a new one. This week is one of my busiest, sooo.. that's convenient.. I'm sort of tempted to delete my facebook again; completely cut myself off from "everything." I would do it if I didn't have so many things to attend to which require me to be contactable.

3. I got asked to Timpview's Valentines dance by a friend of mine. It's kinda neat that I get to wear my dress again.

4. Camila and I heart attacked Papa Helv's door.. And his car. I love that man.

5. Camila made me a "Love mobile" sign for my car. I love her till death do us part.

The update

1. Sweethearts.
So I had like a really good time at Sweethearts. My date was a total gentleman. May I just say, guys like that are refreshing. I freaking love to dance. Spencer did a great job at keeping up with me:) haha. There's a picture of my dress to the right.

2. I dyed a strip of my hair blonde. Whenever I do something stupid, just blame it on the blonde. It's a great excuse.

3. I got back on facebook. Partly because I'm not as angry towards it anymore. But mostly because I wanted watch Thomas and Spencer's vlogs and post my own, which leads me to number four.

4. Caitlynn, Kaylee, and I are starting a vlog. We had the idea first.. Just throwing that out there.

5. I'm in charge of planning about a thousand events. Maybe more. It's a lot of work, but I'm so excited. Especially for the multi-school dance we're hosting. ah.

6. I've never been more ready to graduate. I'm so incredibly glad I have enough credits to graduate early. I don't think I could make it through another year honestly. No reply from BYU yet, but hopefully I'll get accepted.

7. I'm done being unhappy. Life is rough, school is hectic, people drive me insane, I do more than I should, I make lots and lots and lots of mistakes. But I wouldn't want it any other way.

I don't know what it was today. But I just felt so incredibly awkward all day, like I had my pants on backwards or something. But I didn't. I checked and rechecked myself many times.

I'm usually pretty confident. But today I felt like my own skin didn't fit quite right. I can't figure out what it is that has cause me to be so insecure. I don't know what has happened to me, but it had better stop. I never want to be this self conscious ever ever ever ever ever again. I'm not sure, so I'll just blame it on pms.

The truth is nobody cares if you're upset, so you might as well be happy.

I do this mostly for myself, but feel free to read it

Everything I love about today:

1. Sleeping under my desk during my college history class.
2. Candy for breakfast.
3. Spending two hours with Webster filling out applications for jobs in Alaska.
4. Bebo.
5. Teachers you can honestly talk to.
6. Boy advice from Daddy Helvs.
7. Sharing strawberry frosting with the cheerleaders.
8. The CD Camila made me.
9. Being really awkward.
   
10. Being sore.
11. Falsies.
12. Winning the basketball game.
13. Too many inside jokes.
14. I have some really amazing friends.
15. How hilarious Ben and Ricky are.
    
16. How they're like my giant brothers.
17. Curling up on the heater vent.
18. Wearing my nasty grubbies.
    

Love it

I did this once and I liked it so much I decided to do it again. Here's everything I love about today.

1. My Psychology class.
2. Finally finishing my BYU admissions essays.
3. Not having to study for the ACT
4. How nice the lunch ladies are.
5. Saving students from fatty chicken. (You're welcome.)
6. Funny friends.
7. Setting up lunch chairs around trashcans and then students who will actually eat around it:)
   
8. Really cool guys.
9. Flirty freshmen.
10. Making people feel my muscles.
11. Awkwardly placed bruises.
12. Spoonfuls of peanut butter.
13. Diets that will start tomorrow.
14. Those people who always are happy to see you.
15. Someone told me I was pretty.
    
16. Medical Anatomy.
17. People who understand sarcasm.
    
18. It was a pretty day.
    

Pretty good

Today has been a little rough. So here's a list of everything I loved about it.

1. I wrote my Psychology essay easy peasy.
2. I finally got one of my ecclesiastical endorsements.
   
3. I have some really amazing friends. And we're all on the same boat.
4. Single girls jar.
5. Curry for dinner.
6. Sharing first kiss stories.
   
7. Genuinely nice guys.
   
8. I did well on my anatomy test even though I didn't study.
9. Someone told me I was pretty.
10. No facebook.
11. Good advice from Camila's sister.
12. Made some overdue amends.
13. My little sister is the cutest.
14. My sister's boyfriend might not think I'm totally icky anymore cause he finally came over while I had my hair and makeup still done.
15. I love talking with my older sister.
    
16. People who understand exactly what you're going through.
17. Sincere conversations with a really neat teacher.
18. How puppies are always excited to see you.

That book

Facebook is so weird. It's an opportunity to address basically everyone you know. But still, look at the things we post. If people actually thought about this concept, they would probably put more thought into the things they post. (Duh) It's just weird to think about it. Like really? You have this great opportunity to say anything to everyone! And you decided to tell the whole world that you're hungry? We're all so strange.

Time out

I put myself in time-out. I usually don't get like this but I'm seriously incapable of being nice to anyone. So for the sake of others I will just sit in my room and write this post so that I don't scrape everyone's faces off with a serrated knife.
And now I would add more to this post, but once again I'm too angry to say anything nice so I'll just end it here.




Die.

Reasons being single is great

1. You don't have to worry about shaving your legs.
   
2. Everything you do is for yourself.
3. Flirting around
4. Meeting new people
5. Freedom
6. You have your own social identity
7. You can have friends.
8. You aren't afraid to change and grow.
9. You can have male friends without having to defend yourself and explain nothing else is going on.
10. You don't have to deal with anyone else's emotions or needs
11. You don't have to worry about him not texting or calling you back.
12. You have a better body
13. Better friends
14. Girls nights out
15. You can focus on important things.
16. You don't have to compromise.
17. You learn to be comfortable with you and just you. You don't need anyone else to feel complete.
18. You don't have to impress anyone.
    
19. Zero heartbreak.

Things to do no. 7

Run a marathon.